


Fearwells

by LindoRussa



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: (not grafic don't worry), Death, Gil-Galad is the best friend ever, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Mortality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28898814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindoRussa/pseuds/LindoRussa
Summary: The King of Numenor is passing, and Lord Elrond learns to say goodbye the mortal way.
Relationships: Elrond Peredhel & Elros Tar-Minyatur, Elrond Peredhel & Ereinion Gil-galad
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Of late, Lord Elrond had spent most of his time in the Havens. Though the High King Gil-Galad had asked for his presence many times, nothing would have him change his mind. 

He had made many journeys between Númenor and Lindon, and wanted to be sure not to lose any second if he was requested to join the island again. 

When the young Númenórean entered his house, the elven Lord knew already what would be asked of him.

“Lord Elrond ? My king has requested your presence by his side. He… “  
“Say no more, I am coming. Is there a boat ready to leave ?”  
“Yes my lord.”  
“Fine. Go ahead, I will follow you once I have taken what I need.“

************************

The chamber of the king was calm, almost entirely silent. The night had come and several candles had been lit, lighting the room with a flickering radiance. Nurses were silently walking around the bed, where an old man was laying, eyes closed, seemingly asleep. 

When the elven Lord stormed inside, the several people present bowed to him. He did not pay them any attention. His manners had disappeared before his worry. He started opening the sack he had brought with him, taking out herbs and products with precipitation. 

“I am sorry, I hope I haven’t taken too much time. I came as soon as I received your message.”  
“Elrond…” the man called with a weak voice.  
“Yes, I think it will suffice.” the Lord continued, talking to himself, entirely absorbed in his thoughts. “I will have to ask your healers for more information, but if it is the same thing as last time, I think I have all I need. Is it a …”  
“Elrond !”

The elf turned towards his brother’s bed. Elros’ face was wrinkled by time. His body seemed weak, and his grey hair was spread on the pillows. Everything in him told of his great age, and yet in his eyes burned the same light that did long ago, in his youth. 

Their youth. 

He was smiling softly, his features more appeased that they had ever been. With a motion of his hand, he invited Elrond to sit by the side of the bed. 

The elf’s mind felt numb and empty. He couldn’t think about anything. He refused to think about what was going to come. Slowly, he sat on the stool next to the king’s bed. 

Elros’ health had slowly declined this last decades, and Elrond had sometimes been called to assist his healers, who, no matter how talented they were, couldn't surpass the elven Lord in these matters. Each time, Elrond had worked hard to keep his brother alive, using all his knowledge to do so, and had always succeeded. But this time… Something in Elros’ behaviour was different. 

“Elrond… I didn’t call you to heal me today…” Elros said in a soft voice, confirming his twin’s fears. Elrond shook his head.  
“No. No, no, it’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine, I… I will find a way, I…” Tears started to form in the corner of his eyes, and he did his best to blink them away.  
“Elrond…“ 

The man took his brother’s hand in his. 

“We knew this time would come, brother.”  
“No, not now, you… You still…” the elf lord couldn’t suppress a sob. 

No matter how much he refused to admit it, Elros was right : they had always known. But now that it was becoming real, Elrond found himself dreadfully unprepared to face it. He wasn’t ready to lose his brother.

“I’m not…I can’t do it without you. Please…”  
“Yes, you can… Elrond, I trust you.”  
“No, I…”

His body was shaking as he tried to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to flow from his eyes. He grasped the hand of Elros more tightly. No, he was not ready.

“It’s going to be alright, brother. For the both of us.”  
“No, not… not without you, I… I’m not strong enough”  
“Hey… You are braver than what you think. You will be amazing. I know you will.” 

They looked into each other's eyes. 

“I’m not ready to lose you…”  
“Elrond, I will always be with you. I will be by your side. It’s going to be fine.” 

The king smiled peacefully. Looking into his eyes, Elrond found himself unable to say a word. What could he say, anyway ?  
Then, Elros looked away, still holding onto the Lord’s hand. Four Edain walked towards the bed, three men and a woman. Their eyes showed that they had cried for a long time, but each of them tried to hold a composure. 

“Children…” Elros said as they got closer. 

Elrond stopped to listen to what was said, his mind drifting off. Again, he found himself incapable to think.  
It was not the first time that someone he loved had been taken away from him, but this time everything felt entirely different. However he couldn’t point exactly why, his mind too dizzy to function properly. 

Elros looked unbelievably peaceful, when himself was more scared than he had ever been. How could he not be as frightened as he was ? How could he stand at the threshold of such a dark path, and still smile so peacefully ? How could he be the one reassuring his children and his brother ? 

“You will make the right choice, son. I believe in you.” Elrond heard as he focused again on the discussion. 

Elros was looking at his firstborn with a gentle smile. Then, with a sight he fell again on the pillows. He closed his eyes softly and took a deep breath. Suddenly, each of his movements seemed to use his last forces. He grasped his twin’s hand more tightly. 

Opening his eyes again, he looked on each side of the bed. 

“Until we meet again…” he said with a weak voice. 

Finally, Elros closed his eyes, still smiling calmly, and his hand stopped holding Elrond’s. 

His daughter burst into tears, held by her brother. She turned her face away from the bed, and her brothers gathered around her, tears running from their eyes. 

Elrond felt miles away from them, as if nothing around him was really here. He did not make a sound, staring blankly at the bed. 

Then he stood up and slowly walked out of the room.

He needed light. He needed fresh air. 

He walked towards one of the balconies of the castle. 

He stepped out and his hands clenched at the guardrail. Tears started to flow from his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The High King visits a friend in need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first the two chapeters were supposed to be together, but I thought it would be more interesting to have them separated, so here it is !  
> Also, note that i went with the version where Gil is the son of Orodreth, grandson of Finarfin and brother of Finduilas.  
> With that said, enjoy !

A light knock was heard on the door of the Lord’s appartements. After a few seconds without any answer, Gil-Galad slowly opened the door and slipped his head in the opening. 

“Elrond ?” he called gently.  
“Oh, Ereinion, excuse me, I...” said a voice from further inside the room. 

Elrond was sitting on an armchair, facing a large opening. When he turned and his eyes met the High King’s, he started to stand up, rearranging his robe. 

“I know I haven’t been able to accomplish my duties these last weeks, forgive me. I will immediately…”

He cut himself off when Gil-Galad put his hand on his shoulder. With a soft smile, the king prompted him to sit back, before taking a chair that he brought by his side. 

“Do not trouble yourself with this.” he said while he sat down. “I did not come as your king, Elrond… But as your friend.”

They looked at each other for some time in silence. Gil-Galad’s look was concerned, his head tilted as he frowned slightly, and he seemed to try to pierce through his friend’s mind. Elrond looked away first and stared blankly at the landscape. Tears started to form in the corner of his eyes. 

“How are you ?” Gil-Galad asked. 

The question was simple, yet the Lord found himself unable to answer. ‘Fine’ he would have said to anyone else, but he knew this lie would not work with Ereinion. He would not content himself with it, keeping the respectful silence that everybody withdrew themselves into, as if they believed his answer. They knew each other too well for this.

Elrond shut his eyes.  
He was... tired. He felt like each movement was consuming his last forces, and he hadn’t been able to find the strength to accomplish anything for what felt like ages. Yet, it was more than physical exhaustion. It was… deeper. A fatigue buried deep inside of him, in his very core. 

“I- I don’t really know.”

He felt numb. His mind seemed to be slowed down, incapable of working properly. It was as if his connections to the world were broken. For the past few weeks, he had felt like he was only watching what was happening to him, as if his mind was unable to process it. As if something was missing. 

“I feel alone.” were the only words he could put on these feelings. 

The king frowned slightly, but didn’t say a thing, letting his friend find his words.  
If he was being honest, Elrond hadn’t really thought about how he felt. Since he had left Númenor, he had done everything mechanically, as if something in him was too afraid to even feel or think.  
But now, the time had come that he had to face reality. 

“Since I was young, I… People told me that people like us shared a... bond. Stronger than anything between brothers, a… As if their fëa were the same, one and only that had been divided between them.”

A silence passed as the Lord took a breath. 

“I never felt that way. Or at least I never realised it. Things had always been the same, and I just didn’t know how they could be different. But now that- “

His voice broke.  
‘Now that he was gone.’  
He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t pronounce it out loud, put this thought in the light of the day, watch it take flesh, watch it become… Real. Tears were flowing down his cheeks. 

“Now I know what they meant. Now I-... I feel like something is missing. And…“ 

He was sobbing, all of his feelings finally surfacing at once, like a wave threatening to drown him. He bit his lip as he tried to control his breathing. His entire body was tensed to stop the trembles that traversed him. 

“And it will never come back. It… He will never come back.” 

The Lord’s head dropped, his body still shuddering wildly.  
Gil-Galad put a hand softly on his shoulder, searching what to say to comfort his friend. 

He himself had lost many people in his life, and among them, his dear younger sister. Yet, it was nothing compared to what the Lord was going through.  
His brother was gone forever. No desperate boat could carry him where he was now, and no one knew if they could ever be reunited.  
His brother was gone. Forever. 

The king moved his chair closer to his friend’s seat and leant down slightly to look at his face. 

“Elrond… I know that no one could ever fully understand how you feel, but… Know that we are here for you. You are not alone. You are loved and cared for. We will be by your side, as much as you need it.”

Elrond raised his face, looking at his friend. Tears were filling his eyes, but a weak smile managed to appear on his lips. 

“Thank you, Ereinion.”

Gil-Galad smiled back, a fond and gentle smile lighting up his face. He knew that this time would be hard, and that his friend’s life would be changed forever, but he would be here, by his side, on every step. 

After some time, Elrond lowered his gaze, looking by the window. Ereinion sat up, standing straight again, his hand not fully living his friend’s shoulder. 

“Do you want me to stay ? Or would you prefer if I left you alone ?”

“I…” the Lord hesitated “I think I would like to stay alone for now.”  
“Alright.” Gil-Galad said as he stood up.  
“Are you…Are you going to head back ?” Elrond asked, standing up as well.  
“Only if you don’t want to accommodate me for a night or two, I suppose.”  
“Well, I wouldn’t want to deprive the kingdom of its King.”

Gil-Galad chuckled.  
“I think they can survive without me for a few days. So, what do you say ?”  
“...I’d be glad if you stay.”  
“It is settled then !”  
“I...I should find you a room. I think there is a very- ”  
“No, no need to bother. I can deal with it myself. You can stay here, and rest.” 

The king smiled again, and took his friend in his arms, embracing him tightly. Then, he stepped out of the room, leaving Elrond to his thoughts.


End file.
